this has been on my mind for sometime and i'm starting to realize something.
i don't let people get close to me
sure i have a lot of friends and can have a decent conversation with just about anybody. but sometimes i just feel so alone. i rarely let people in and know everything about me. the whole story. my friends at work are separate from my friends at school, who a separate from my family.
people know my name and know who i am but they don't really know ME. there have been a few people that i have let know more about my life, my past....the things that i hide inside. but as of now, i haven't talked to most of them in the past month, at least.
so while a majority of my friends are having fun and enjoying their summer as seniors, i've been working. i eat, sleep, live in that gym. even there though, i don't really let people know about my life.
ever since the disaster that i guess was a relationship, i've completely shut the world out. it's like there's apart of me that no one is allowed to see. it's the part of me that's is not perfect, that is scared of many things. the part that secretly has an obsession with fanfiction and a good love story. the one that really does wish that she had someone there for her. a part that is searching for a place in this world but can't seem to find it.
and yes this is just another of my rambles. but sometimes it's better just to get the words out, you know? i still have no clue if anyone actually bothers to read this, but i find this blog theraputic. i can say whatever i want to say no matter how confusing, stupid, or silly it may seem. it just all comes out
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